Aftermath of Creepy Guy
Last May, I posted a story on my blog (Read it Here) that initiated a whirlwind of events. One post triggered the involvement of friends, family in Canada, family in Thailand, both Goderich and Lamphun Rotary clubs, both Central States and Northern Thailand Rotary districts, and my school counselors.
Most people and Canadian Rotarians were extremely helpful and sought only to solve the yet unresolved problem. When word reached my host family, my counselors translated the blog post to them and they did everything in their power to solve the situation; removing all contact with the creepy man, apologizing that the situation ever arose, and being much more critical of who I was to travel with. They're angels.
Thailand Rotary was not so wonderful, but due to my high level of respect for Rotary in general, it'll be left at that. I never saw that creepy man again until the final dinner party on the last night. So on that area of the Rotary's role, they did well and I thank them for that.
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Period of Misandry
Here are some strong contributors to it:
- Strong reverse culture shock and resisting re-adaption (huge story; another day, another post).
- Strong disappointment, disagreement, and rocky relations with males in my immediate family.
- Feeling let down and abandoned by two closest male friends who I'd formerly spent the majority of time with.
- Resisting Canadian culture and people, resulting in too much time spent alone thinking about these things.
- The primary reason for this misandry though, occurred around mid-November to one of my closest and oldest friends. She was completely manipulated, drugged, and raped by two boys we'd both known in my small town of 3000.
....Um... WHAT?!?! Yeah. It was and is indescribably tragic, sick, and awful. Her ability to overcome that makes her one of the strongest women that I am so proud to know. For her respect and privacy's sake, that's all that will be said regarding that matter.
However, this primarily instigated the overall disappointment in the entire male gender. This is wrong and I do feel ashamed it affected me that way. It wasn't a true hatred, however; I've never been a hateful person at all. It was just raw disappointment and complete loss of faith in all men.
How did I overcome it? Men. Just as to overcome misogyny, one must be open and willing to talk and listen to women, misandry can also be solved by talking and listening to men outside of the ones causing the misandrous emotions. By allowing myself re-accept my own culture, I become more involved and was able to remember the kind, open-minded, genuine, and intelligent men I knew before as well as meet new ones from various places such as in our Quaker community, the political party I'm involved with, my extended family, some wonderful boys in my classes, neighbours, and others that I came in contact with again.
Most of these people likely had no idea of the effect they had. Most guys I know are wonderful people. There are clear misogynistic views out there, but most of them are a result of culture, which must change, and not the fault of the individual. So, certain Huron County guys out there, you "cured" me just by being genuinely good people. Thank you so much for that. Through you, it was possible to re-accept that the cruel actions of few men in no way reflect the mindset of everyone. This goes the same for women. Most people are "good"; I believed that before and now believe it again.
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Feminism
With respect for men restored, my passion for social justice issues took a focus on gender equality. Our culture does not have gender equality. There is a strong negative stigma attached to femininity that effects both men and women unjustly.This negative stigma is why our culture calls men to be "manly", chivalrous, and tough, so as not to look "weak". Many of these "weak" characteristics are those characterized of women, such as compassion, sympathy, ability to show emotion, fear, or weakness, which men are taught they must not show.
This negative stigmas is a strong reason why....
- women's bodies are highly sexualized
- women can wear more traditional "men's clothes" and look pretty sexy in them,
but men wearing traditional "women's clothes" look slightly silly from a western perspective.
- women rarely occupy political positions or high offices
- women's bodies are sexualized to sell products and used in background images
- there are male words such as "actor" and "hunter" which can also be used for women, but their female counterparts such as "actress" and "huntress" could never be used for a man.
This current system abuses men as well. It's a huge contributing factor as to why:
- homosexuality is seen as strange and unnatural
- men are required to be "manly" and strong
- it is more difficult for men to show emotional weakness than women
- there's the idea that men cannot be physically abused by women
- the idea exists that a man who has a respectful relationship with his partner can be seen as "whipped"
Feminism is the fight for equality. It contains the word "feminine" because it's a statement that the characterized "feminine" characteristics such as compassion, emotion, sympathy, and the ability to show weakness and fear are a normal and acceptable part of humanity. Feminism argues that both misogyny and misandry are equally wrong.
So when people criticize feminism for being misandric, then yes, it is quite frustrating. History is a massive story of masculinism. Even the name "his story" reveals that. A movement reminding the world that femininity is okay too, is for the benefit of both genders. Everyone has traits of both masculinity and femininity; it is not acceptable that one is more socially acceptable than the other.
*Should be noted that some of the later points about feminism were inspired by this video*
